Blog | Faith Beyond The Table

God Is Stronger Than Anxiety and Self-Doubt

I struggle off and on with anxiety and depression, and for a while, I had a pretty good handle on both. As I get older, and as my hormones change, I’ve found myself struggling a lot with anxiety, the kind that just comes up with no obvious reason and washes over you, and then you find yourself suddenly drowning when you could have been laughing just moments before. It’s funny that you can know what’s going on, but in the moment, you can’t will your body to believe that everything is going to be ok.

Sunday morning, just as I should have been getting ready for church, that anxiety washed over me, and suddenly I was fighting for my life instead of looking forward to spending some time worshiping. At first, I decided I wouldn’t go, I’d rest and calm down, and then I’d watch our service later on YouTube. I grabbed a cup of coffee and tried to relax on the couch and calm down, but God had other plans for me.

Until I experienced it for myself, I found it weird when people would say God told them to do something. But over the last few years, I’ve turned back to God, and I’ve begun to mature in my faith, and sometimes God tells me things. It’s hard to explain how you can hear with your heart and not with your ears, but that’s the best way I can describe it. And Sunday morning, God started speaking to my heart, and in the middle of that anxiety, I argued back. He told me to get up and get dressed for church. I argued back that I couldn’t. Then he said, “With me, you can.” I replied that I wasn’t strong enough. And what snapped me into action, 10 minutes before I needed to leave for church, was God asking me why I was limiting him, doubting his power, and then again that I could do this with Him. So, I got dressed in record time and made it to church only a few minutes late.

Our services start with a period of worship, so the first song was playing when I got there. I sat in my regular spot and began to worship. I was in tears before I left home ( my husband, poor man, was confused why I was going to church in the state I was in), and not long into worship, I moved on from crying to sobbing, and I sat down in the pew, bowed my head, and I prayed, and I worshiped. And then I stood up and worshiped some more. You could feel the Holy Spirit moving through our service, and at the end of our worship period, we kept singing one of the songs after it was technically over. Hearing so many people sing out to God is the most beautiful sound.

Our pastor preached his sermon from Exodus 3, where Moses encounters the Lord as the burning bush and is called to go and lead the Israelites out of Egypt. Moses was reluctant, and he argued and whined that he wasn’t good enough, and he even asked God to send someone else. I had a good little chuckle to myself because I’d done that very same dance with God about going to church that morning. I had also been doing that dance with God about a couple of other things in my life. At this point, it was pretty obvious why God wanted me at church.

In the margin of my Bible, in Exodus 3, I’d previously written, “Sometimes we don’t feel worthy to do what God has asked us to do, but here we can see that when He asks something of us, He is with us.” Below that, my Bible now says, “The one who calls you goes with you”, a statement our pastor had us write down during his sermon. I needed those words, and God knew it!

The last thing from the sermon I want to share is that our pastor said, “Some of you are listening to this sermon, not because it’s just for you, but because you need to teach somebody else this coming week or the next week what it says.” In my case, I believe it’s both. I needed those words, but I also believe there is someone else out there who needs them too.

When God asks us to do something, He’s there with us. He goes with us. He is our strength and our refuge. He may choose to quiet the storm, but He may choose to lead us through it. Keep your eyes on Him, be obedient, and trust in Him. Know that He is with you. He is with us through the anxiety and the self-doubt.

Blog and Life Update

I haven’t written here much, and it’s been quite a while since I published anything here at all, so I wanted to give an update.

When God calls us to do something, it can be scary, and that doesn’t mean we don’t want to be obedient or that we don’t believe in what we’re being called to do. Sometimes, a lot of the time, ok, ok, most of the time, God calls us to step outside of our comfort zones. Sometimes he asks us to act without getting the full picture, to step out in faith when we don’t understand what we’re doing or what we’re doing next. Our lack of understanding makes it difficult to do this, but God always knows what we need to get us to where he wants us to be. Growth isn’t always linear, not even growth in faith and our relationship with God. It’s one step forward, 2 steps back sometimes, but He always gets us to where we need to be if we trust in Him.

I say all this because this is my lived experience.

When I started this blog, I was doing my best to be obedient in what I was being called to do, but, I became paralyzed by thoughts of not being a good enough writer, not being a strong enough Christian, not being knowledgable enough about the bible, worries and insecurities about not being good enough, the past…just so many thoughts. When the devil plants those seeds of doubt, boy, can they take root. You can know what’s happening, be prepared for it to happen, and still fall into that trap. I fell into it and floundered for months. I wrote some in the background, but not consistently, and I didn’t put my words out into the world.

On November 1, 2025, I started a 100 day blogging challenge where the goal was to publish a blog post on my personal blog every day for 100 days so I could form a habit of writing daily without overthinking it. I think God knew that I needed to step back from this blog so that he could show me what he was asking me to do. I needed more preparation.

During this challenge, I became more comfortable writing and putting my words out into the world without overthinking things. I think God needed me to understand that he’s not asking me to be perfect, he’s just asking me to put words out into the world when he leads me to. They don’t have to be perfect to be meaningful.

Starting in November 2025 my family was pummelled with sickness. Cold/Flu/Covid season hit us hard. I had severe bronchitis during this time, and I didn’t think I’d ever be able to sleep lying down again. I stopped attending church in November because I didn’t want to get anyone sick, and sickness kept cycling through our home. (I have since attended a few times, and looking forward to attending more often.)

I have also been dealing with some other health issues that have affected every aspect of my life because of the way my energy levels are affected. When your energy plummets, everything becomes more difficult. I’ve recently made changes within my control to improve my health, starting with eating a healthier diet, and by God’s grace, I have a little more energy right now. I’m still dealing with some health concerns, but nothing life-threatening.

I wish I could say that during my time away, I’ve read my bible and prayed every day. I wish I could say that I honored the Sabbath perfectly. I wish I could say that I was the perfect little Christian. But I can’t, I’m not, and no one is.

The truth is, I struggled a lot. I didn’t question my faith, but there were days when I didn’t pray. There were weeks that I didn’t study God’s word. Some days God felt right there with me, and there were days when I felt like I was yelling into a void.

It’s funny, though, during this time God showed me what was in the way, the things that were affecting my relationship with him, mostly things that were distracting me or affecting my energy levels. During this time, I also had a chance to see how differently I felt when I was observing the Sabbath and when I wasn’t. I’m not saying that I believe Sabbath observance has anything to do with salvation, because I don’t, but if God shows me that my relationship with him is stronger when I honor the Sabbath, that’s enough for me to make it a priority.

The transition from blogging daily on my personal site to sharing my words here hasn’t been seamless. It’s been over two months since I completed that challenge. I don’t have the whole picture, but I do know I’ve learned so many lessons over the last several months. And I know that I woke up today and started to write.

Going forward, I hope to write more because I still feel like it’s something I’ve been called to do. I’m going to do my best to be obedient. I don’t have all the answers, but I’m ok with that. All I can do is stay close to God and trust that he will lead me where I need to be and reveal to me the things he needs me to know. I have to trust that he will give me the words he wants me to share and that those words will reach someone who needs them.

If you’re struggling in Faith Beyond The Tableyour walk with Jesus or in a challenging season, you’re not alone. He’s always there, even when it might not feel that way at the moment. Continue to seek him in prayer and through his word. And if you need immediate help, reach out to someone. Don’t suffer alone.

Personal Statement Of Faith

As a Biblical Christian, I do my best to live according to the teachings of the Bible rather than subscribing to a specific denomination. I believe in the authority of Scripture and the foundational truths it presents. My personal faith includes the following beliefs:

I believe in the limitless power of God.
Belief in the Trinity: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. One God, three Persons, working together in perfect unity.
God the Father as the Creator and Sustainer of the universe.
Jesus Christ is fully divine and is our Savior, Redeemer, and earthly example.
The Holy Spirit as our guide, comforter, and empowerer.
Salvation is a gift from God through faith in Jesus Christ, by grace, not works.
Baptism by immersion as a public declaration of faith.
The Bible is the inspired and infallible Word of God.
The importance of prayer in maintaining a personal relationship with God.
Freedom in worship where God can be honored in many ways, whether quiet or expressive. What matters is a sincere heart turned toward Him. He looks at our heart posture.
Recognizing that each person’s faith journey is unique and guided by the Holy Spirit, which might mean that people are convicted on different things at different times. We have all lived different lives and only God can prepare us for His purpose, in His own time.
God is still actively working, moving, healing, teaching, and protecting us.
Spiritual gifts are still being used to glorify Him and to further His kingdom.
Jesus calls us to love each other as he loves us.

I decided to post my Personal Statement of Faith because I think it’s important to be transparent. If you’re reading this blog, you deserve to know what my beliefs are. There are more opinions and sets of beliefs than I could ever count, but these are my personal beliefts, formed from my best understanding of the infallable Word of God, the Bible.

A Prayer For Heavy Hearts

Dear Lord,

We come to you with heavy hearts. Hagar called you El Roi, the God who sees me, and I know that you see us now. You have said, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted”, and Lord, we need that comfort now more than ever.

There has been so much hate and violence in the world as of late, and people are hurt, and they’re tired, and they’re scared. Left, right, your children, the lost, and people from every part of the world, we all need the comfort and rest that only you can give.

You say, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” I welcome your yoke, and I will find my rest in you.

I pray for my brothers and sisters in Christ that we all may be able to show your love to the world around us, that we may be light in the darkness, and that we stay grounded in your word so that we can love our neighbors and pray for those who persecute us, as you have asked of us.

I pray for the lost, that they come to know and love you. I pray that they call on your name and believe in you. I pray that they accept your loving gift of salvation, so that even when their hearts are broken, they feel the peace that only you can provide.

I pray for every person who has been touched by tragedy, both current and remembered. I ask that you comfort victims, loved ones, first responders, medical staff, and every single person impacted.

I pray for those who don’t have the words. Let them find comfort in the knowledge that you know the words even when we don’t, and you know our prayers even when we can’t say them.

Like you did for Joseph, I ask that you take what was meant for evil and use it for good. I pray that you use all of this pain, heartache, and tragedy to glorify your kingdom, to win more hearts to you, and to heal our world.

I trust in your plan, Lord, even when I can’t understand. You tell us to “lean not on our own understanding”, and I fully acknowledge that I don’t understand, but I give it all to you.

Thank you for letting me rest in you, Lord.

In Jesus’ Holy Name, Amen.

I was Baptized

This was originally published on September 22, 2024, on another platform. Everything I said still rings true. It was an outward declaration of an inward change, and it was, and still is, important to me. It was one way for me to stand up and say, “I love the Lord and I am his”. If there’s anyone considering baptism or a second baptism in some cases, I urge you to do so. There’s a reason it’s being laid on your heart.

Today I was baptized.

I walked the aisle and was baptized at a young age, but over time, I came to realize that I didn’t fully understand what I was doing at the time. Years later, I prayed and was saved, but I was embarrassed and didn’t take the step to get rebaptized afterward.

My relationship with God has been complicated, and over the years, my heart hardened and I drifted further and further from Him.

Over the last 2 years God has been working on me and in my life. There have been trials and heartbreak, but there have also been blessings and renewal. Sometimes God has to break us down to get our attention so that he can rebuild us into who he has called us to be.

Ezekiel 36:26-27 says “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws.”

I thank God that he removed my heart of stone and gave me a heart of flesh and I am doing my best to be obedient to Him. I’ll never be perfect, but I know without a doubt that He loves me anyway.

Baptism symbolizes what has already happened in my heart, but it is also meant to be a public declaration of faith and a sign of commitment. If you’re considering taking this step, I urge you to do so. And if you’ve turned away from God, He will always welcome you back with open arms and all you have to do is just call out to Him.

Luke 15:7 says “I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.”

Did God Really Say…?

“Did God really say…?”

It seems like such a small grouping of words. Harmless, really. A simple question, but that’s what makes it so powerful. Doubt often starts this way, like a whisper in your head or a fleeting feeling that causes you to second guess yourself. Other times, the question causing doubt comes from someone else.

But where it comes from isn’t important. What matters most is that you can recognize that it’s the work of the enemy.

Satan, the devil, the enemy, whatever name you know him by, first appears in Genesis 3:1 as the serpent. And what were his first words in Scripture?

“Did God really say…?”

What’s Happening in Genesis 3:1

In Genesis 2, God created Adam and then He placed him in the Garden of Eden, a beautiful garden of abundance. Adam was to live there and care for it. God told Adam that he could eat from any tree of the garden except for the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, because if he did he’d surely die. (Genesis 2:16 – 17) Then God created Eve from Adam’s rib so that he wouldn’t be alone.

It is not certain how much time passed between Genesis 2 and Genesis 3, but Genesis 3:1 introduces the serpent. It tells us right away that he has a deceptive nature. The specific word used may vary based on the translation you use, but they all mean the same thing.

Comparing Translations

I use NIV most of the time, but I cross reference with the King James Version and the New King James Version. I’ll show you Genesis 3:1 from each of these versions, so you can compare the different words used to describe the serpent. I feel like seeing a verse from a variety of translations can give us a deeper understanding of God’s word.

NIV – Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”

KJV – Now the serpent was more subtil than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?

NKJV – Now the serpent was more cunning than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, “Has God indeed said, ‘You shall not eat of every tree of the garden’?”

Understanding the Enemy’s Nature

In the scripture above several words are used to describe the serpent. Crafty, Subtil (an older way of spelling subtle), and cunning all describe someone who is sneaky and manipulative. God’s word is meant to guide us in our lives and walk with Christ, and the first information we’re given about the enemy is that he wants to trick us. It is his nature. The enemy can and will take many forms, but his nature doesn’t change. There’s a reason he’s called the great deceiver.

His Tactics Haven’t Changed

Now that we understand who the enemy is, we can look at his approach. In Genesis 3:1, we know he starts his encounter with Eve with the question, “Did God really say?”. You might be wondering why I’m putting so much emphasis on this question. Why is it such a big deal that the serpent asked Eve, “Did God really say?”?

The reason it is so important is that we must realize what tactics the enemy uses so that we can resist him, fight back, and guard ourselves against his attacks. He wants nothing more than to separate us from God, and he will do that by any means necessary.

The Rest of Eve’s Story

In the sections above, we learned that the serpent’s first words were, “Did God really say?”, and why those words were significant, but that’s only the first part of the question. The serpent’s full question was, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”

Did you catch that? God said they could eat of any tree except for one, and the serpent knew what God said, but he continued to plant doubts in Eve. He wanted to make her doubt herself and question if she had been given the correct information. He tried to confuse her, and that fits with who he is. Remember, his nature is to deceive, to manipulate, and to cause confusion.

Eve tells him that they can eat from any tree except the one in the middle of the garden, the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. She says that if they touch it or eat from it, they will die.

What’s interesting here is that she didn’t accurately convey the rule that was given to Adam by God. They were not forbidden from touching the tree, only eating the fruit of it. Did Adam exaggerate when he taught Eve the rules? Did Eve embellish to the serpent because she felt pressured by his questions? It’s interesting to think about.

Well, the serpent lied and said, “You won’t die.” He tells her that eating the fruit will make her like God, because she’ll know good and evil. At this point, he’d already caused Eve to doubt herself, and she didn’t know who to trust.

Eve listened to the serpent. She looked at the fruit and saw that it looked good. She was tempted because she was being manipulated by the serpent’s words and by the sight of the fruit. Then she ate it, but she didn’t stop there. She gave some to Adam, and he ate it too.

That’s when everything changed. Their eyes were opened, and they realized they were naked. They were ashamed and they hid from God.

This was the moment that sin entered the world. Until that moment, the relationship between God and man was perfect, but their choice to disobey God changed that.

How the Enemy Still Works Today

Planting seeds of doubt is one tactic Satan uses to separate us from our Creator. It’s the way he gets his foot in the door so that he can trick us and contradict God, just like he did to Eve. The Devil will make us question the facts we know to be true, what God has told us, and what God has done for us. He can make us doubt God’s love or question our salvation.

The enemy will attack us when and where we are vulnerable. If you doubt your salvation or worry how God could ever forgive you, Satan will pick at that. If you are feeling guilty over sins that you’ve repented for and have worked to rectify, the Devil may make you wonder if God can still love you. If you doubt your abilities and purpose, Satan will do anything he can to make you believe that you’re not worthy or that you’re incapable of doing God’s will.

Don’t let the enemy win. Don’t give him a foot in the door or a seat at your table. I heard part of a sermon somewhere, and the speaker said, “The best way to keep the enemy from having a seat at the table is for you to fill it”. Is there anything more truthful? Sup with the Lord. Seek Him. Love Him. Worship Him. Pray.

What area of your life feels most vulnerable to the enemy’s voice right now?

Faith Beyond The Table Blog Origin

Faith Beyond the Table is an answer to a call. I’m not sure where this road leads, but I’m stepping out in faith to find out.

I ran from God for a long time, but I answered His call during a difficult moment and turned back to Him by pouring out my heart to Him in prayer. I didn’t want to talk to people about God, go to church, hear sermons, or anything else, but I decided to try my best to do what God wanted me to do.

For the first year or so, I just prayed and listened. I felt like God was saying, “Talk to me, child,” so I did. I prayed and prayed and prayed.

Then, I felt like I needed to learn more about Jesus to understand Him better and grow in my faith. I grew up in church and read my Bible, so I knew a lot about the Bible already. I started by learning about Jewish customs and beliefs. I watched some Christian movies and “The Chosen”. As I learned, I started to feel a pull to observe the Sabbath. At this point, I still hadn’t started reading my Bible again.

One day, I felt an overwhelming need to go out and buy a Bible. Mine had gotten damaged, but I didn’t replace it. I was obedient and bought a Bible that day and started reading it. I just started at the beginning. I’d read it before, but this time the more I read and studied, the closer to God I felt.

I began observing the Sabbath by lighting candles, praying, and reading my Bible at the end of my dining room table. Just as God told me to talk to Him, I felt like He was also telling me to spend time with Him and allow Him to teach me. These moments are sacred, and when I spend dedicated time with God, I feel so much closer to Him.

There are multiple accounts in the Bible where Jesus broke bread with others. He used the time at those tables to teach His disciples and other people he dined with. He got to know them, and He allowed them to get to know Him, His teachings, His heart, and His purpose. I like to think that He’s doing the same with me when I take my seat at the table. It’s a place where we break bread, where I stop to listen and learn. It’s a place where I end my week with rest, and I purposefully draw closer to God.

Just as a parent gently guides a child, my Heavenly Father has been guiding me. Sometimes He walks beside me. Sometimes He feels even closer, like He’s holding my hand. Other times, it feels like He’s behind me, gently nudging me forward.

It was a while after I started reading my Bible that I felt like I should go to church. I had visited a lovely church with my husband one Sunday morning, but it didn’t quite feel right, so I didn’t return. I had previously decided I’d go to church when God told me to, so I waited.

One night, He told me to go, loud and clear. He laid it on my heart so hard that I couldn’t do anything else but get on my computer and find a church. I attended the following Sunday, and I found my church home. I knew within 2 minutes of the worship service that I was home.

The call to use my spiritual gifts, to serve, to go beyond the table started like all the other things He’s asked of me. He has been showing me, teaching me, laying it on my heart, leading me, and nudging me toward something more. It started quietly, like a whisper in my ear.

But I’m stubborn.

Sometimes, as much as I hate to admit, it takes more than a gentle nudge or whisper. For me, sometimes it takes a sledgehammer.

For a while now, God has laid it on my heart to share what I’m learning and experiencing in my personal walk with Him. He’s been asking me to use my spiritual gifts and the skills that He’s led me to gain over the years for His glory. Every sermon, every Sunday School (small group) lesson, and every Bible story I study seems to be about using these gifts and serving Him. It feels like I’ve been hit over the head with a Bible.

So here I am, stepping out in faith to be obedient.

I’m not sure where this will lead, but I’m excited to continue to grow in my faith and share what I’m learning as I follow God’s plan for my life.

I invite you to join me on this journey. Welcome to Faith Beyond the Table.